The Conclusion! of NoFap

What? You can't just simply quit beatin' your meat? What great complexity is in there? It's only stopping doing it. Stop thinking the problem is much more than that.

I began the process of quitting masturbation in 2018. As of 2022, I have confidence I have discovered the actual matters of importance in this situation. The reason was always one of escapism. Running from something... but from what?

Psychological trauma. But the problem was, I couldn't conceive of a world where it existed, while it existed right under me. Absent humility, I distorted sources I read about the topic into things I thought "made sense", but turned them useless for addressing the problem in the process. Surely, my BIG BRAIN could SIMPLY FIGURE OUT what to do. 

It did not; it knew what the problem "should be" but not what it was. It wanted a perfectly explanatory model, but turned to unreality in doing so.

Pick three two: A practically useful model, a complete model, or a model that reflects reality.

Trauma is my estimation is repressed pain. Above consciousness lies energy. It's possible to defer and hide from trauma, through burying further and deeper. But this always leaves some of your energy saddled with the trauma until your eyes pass upon it again. Only what you  see, may you be freed from. The trauma cannot go away, but you can rip off the part of you going through it - only "bubbles of awareness" outside your conception. The eventual result of this is that the grapes of wrath ripen, and you lose an increasing amount of control to both the trauma and the costs of containing it. 

Or something like that. There's another theory, it's derivative of IFS, where it's more about your constellation of sub-personalities gradually becoming alienated against you. The process then is to heal the "broken home" in your head. Either way. I'll return to that later. There's some good stuff there.

The loop-around is that yet another way to address trauma was proposed - to become more aware, to become exposed to it, to transcend through it. But how do we become more aware? Through NoFap. Many times, indulgences were brought on by too much painful awareness. I failed to realize the solution to my problem really was in "holding on" and "getting through the pain". Now I can, but the only difference is having a better context for why I should. 

The sun remains invisible, but the night portends hope of its emergence.



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